the british are coming!

America needs its own royal family.  We need someone to get excited about, to invest in, to speculate about and of whom we can only assume the best.

There is so much interest in the British royal family and Prince William’s spring nuptials and that quickly translates into one million opportunities to SELL THINGS.

There are bus tours offered through Kate Middleton’s hometown–tours which the owner and director says Americans have more interest in than the people in his own country.

There is a three week “princess training camp” which apparently consists of more than just watching Disney princess movies and walking with books on your head.

Guys, that’s a lot of revenue!

There’s nothing more American than barbecue, apple pie and consumerism.

Long ago, America decided that the Kennedy’s were our royalty.

While we’ll always have Camelot, we won’t always have their lives at the click of a cursor.  In a smart move, they’ve shut the door on the American public and have chosen to live their lives as contributing members of society out of the public eye.

I know–but how will we know what they’re wearing??

It does makes sense though: our royalty shouldn’t aspire to be famous, after all Snooki is famous.  Who wants to be in the same league as that?

That doesn’t excuse the fact that we still need someone to wear this dress:

That’s right–if you want to be American royalty you’ve got to wear THIS creation.

Any takers?  Paris Hilton?

Dubya’s niece, Lauren Bush, is engaged to Ralph Lauren’s son (Lauren Lauren? Dear Lord…).  Ralph Lauren is pretty classically American, so maybe along with the beige, black and white they could throw in some of that red, white and blue.

Imagine that

Or we can wait a couple of decades and see what Sasha and Malia end up doing.  I’m pretty sure this dress isn’t going anywhere.