two years.

The Internet is my favorite time capsule.

I know that two years ago today I played in the snow and wrote down a list of things I wanted.

Days later, I vividly remember hearing the opening chords of John Mayer’s “Heart of Life” and scrambling to write down exactly how I felt about what the universe was trying to tell me.

I want to fully embrace the power and beauty of youth even when I don’t believe in it.

On birthdays in grade school, my music teacher would ask if we remembered to say thank you in the morning.

Thank you 20 for experience and beauty.

Thank you 20 for making the good days so vivid that it takes some straining to find the bad ones–and I never make the effort to do that.

Thank you 20 for a beautiful dog.

Thank you 20 for bookmarking those websites.

Thank you 20 for feeling like thirteen.

Thank you 20 for not being thirteen.

Thank you 20 for all that cheese (sentiments and smoked gouda).

Thank you 20 for saying yes.

Thank you 20 for five minutes until midnight.

Thank you 20 for all those people that I would choose over Zooey Deschanel as best friends (and I love Zooey Deschanel).

Thank you 20 for those solitary days I didn’t want and those solitary days that I did want.

Thank you 20 for this confession:

I was too afraid to share so many things with anyone because I was afraid of LCC and life and living and trying. In the past year I had a hard time dealing with me and I and constant introspection. I’ve been learning that it helps to work for others when that happens.

21, let’s keep learning.

21, let’s give bear hugs.

21, let’s forgive.

21, let’s read those books on my shelf and return library books on time (for the most part).

21, let’s forget.

21, let’s live like an Alannis Morisette song.

21, let’s give and get.

21, let’s mean it. Let’s say what we need to.

Thank you for reading, thank you for being a part of my year even when I was too scared to share it.